A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
coffee each morning. The wife said, 'You should do it because you get
up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee’.
The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee’.
Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee’.
Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me’.
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him
at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS'
Jack was first up in his foursome. Eyeing the ball, he swung his club
and hooked his shot over the fence and down a road where the ball
crashed through the windshield of an oncoming car. The startled driver
lost control of his vehicle, and it spun into a parking lot and bounced
off three cars.
Jack raced over to the crash scene and was relieved to find that no one
was hurt. Almost immediately, a policeman arrived and approached Jack,
who was standing next to the crashed car, eyeing his ball. "Just what
are you going to do about this?" demanded the policeman.
Jack looked up and said, "Well, the first thing I'm going to do is change my grip."
Driving through Southern California, I stopped at a roadside
stand that sold fruit, vegetables, and crafts. As I went to
pay, I noticed the young woman behind the counter was painting
a sign. "Why the new sign?" I asked.
"My boyfriend didn't approve of the old one," she said.
When I glanced at what hung above the counter, I understood.
It declared, "Local Honey Dates Nuts."
There is a knock on St. Peter's door. He looks out and a man is
standing there. St. Peter is about to begin his interview when the
man disappears. A short time later there's another knock. St.
Peter gets the door, sees the man, opens his mouth to speak, and the
man disappears once again.
"Hey, are you playing games with me?" St. Peter calls after him.
"No," the man's distant voice replies anxiously. "They're trying
to resuscitate me."
Our phone rang late one night, and my wife Nancy picked
it up. She said, "No," and slammed it down.
"Who was that?"
"Some boy for Carolyn," she said, referring to our daughter.
Then it rang again. Nancy listened, said, "Kit Kat," and
hung up.
"What now?" I asked.
"A boy plans to ask Carolyn to the prom and wanted to
know what her favorite candy is. He's going to put the
invitation into a candy basket."
The next morning a basket of candy was on our porch.
"But, Mom," our daughter protested when she heard the
story, "Kit Kat isn't my favorite."
"I know," Nancy said. "It's mine."
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